You Owe Me.

en·ti·tle
–verb (used with object), -tled, -tling.
1. to give (a person or thing) a title, right, or claim to something; furnish with grounds for laying claim: His executive position entitled him to certain courtesies rarely accorded others.

de·serve
–verb
1. to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve exile; to deserve charity; a theory that deserves consideration.

Is anyone "entitled" to anything? Does anyone "deserve" anything?

Adam and Eve broke humanity in the garden. We do not "deserve" God's grace. He gives it anyway. What about from human to human? Are there things that I am entitled to receive from someone? Do I "deserve" to be treated/thought of/esteemed in a certain way? Am I so important that I should think that someone "owed" me a certain position or status?

Humanity is made in the image of God, and that gives us some form of created integrity. The good book tells us that we were created well, but that we also did something (sin) that stained us somehow....which means that I am inherently screwed up, and so are you, and that every single day we both continue to mess up. How then, is anyone deserving of any goodness? Are they?

Obviously, we are told to treat others with respect because God cares about them and says that they are valuable to him. But does this have anything to do with what people are "entitled to" from one another?

It seems like there is a call to goodness not "because of what we deserve" but "inspite of what we do not deserve." .....

Aide-moi, s'il vous plait....Je ne sais pas.

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I'm leaving for Philadelphia in 5 hours. I am very excited. A few of us from the journalism department are taking a little field trip...
Scotty and Chad say that I should try Phili Cheese Steak. I say it's "man-food". Then again, Jen likes cheese, so I think I'll try it in honor of her...Jen is one of my most-favorite people.
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Also, I am rather nervous about the writer's strike. I don't want my shows canceled. I will miss John Stewart terribly. He'll prolly be the first to go.... :(

UGGHH........politics

(This is an experience I had about eight months ago that I had written in my journal...)

"Today I spent the evening at Barnes & Noble reading a book about a neurosurgeon. Towards the end of my evening, a couple of friends saw me and came over to chat. The blonde doctor on the cover of my book was accidentally mistaken for the author Ann Coulter. When my friends realized that I wasn’t reading an Ann Coulter Book, the disappointment was clear, and one of them ran to the front of the store to retrieve a copy of her two latest books. I don’t know much about Ann Coulter, but the titles of the books (How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must) and Godless: The Church of Liberalism) enabled me to assume her political affiliation. I’m not really sure if anyone really knows what liberal means in the first place…many people associate it with support for abortion, homosexuality, gay marriage, blue hair, piercing holes, prostitution, tattoos, and burning the American Flag. At least that’s the impression I get….anyways, my friends told me a story about this asinine-boarder-hopping-family who brought their little girl over- illegally- for a 3 million dollar surgery. Since this family didn’t have insurance, good ‘ol Cali ate the bill. My friends expressed their annoyance and utter disbelief in the unfair system, saying that their tax money was stolen to fund another lazy family who shouldn’t have hopped the boarder etc. etc. etc.
To be honest, what they said made sense. A lot of sense. Why should MY parent’s hard earned tax money be thrown down the drain to people who don’t have a job? And what about Americans? Aren’t we first priority?

........Then I went home. And then I thought about it.

I have no clue what it’s like to be a parent. I don’t have kids. I’m only 16. But I can imagine parents watching their little girl play with her barbies and run through sprinklers, knowing that next year at the same time she’ll be gone. What would it be like tucking your kid in… reading her a book, and kissing her on the forehead, and with a smile plastered on your face, looking up out the window and seeing the city lights… What would it be like knowing that your kid is sick and not too far away is a place that could offer her a chance... she might be able to grow up...
I thought about that and I got sorry. I got sorry that all day all I thought about was myself. "


When I analyze political situations I often forget that they affect real people and real families that are not so different from mine. I find that in my white-upper-middle-class arrogance, I am unable to sympathize with those who become victims of the policies that we make...the policies that I will be voting on in the not so distant future...

I'm finding it difficult to define my social obligations and responsibilities when it comes to public policy. I'm not sure where to draw the line. (not even sure what line i'm talking about...)

"Second Star to the Right and Straight on 'till Morning"

"Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown-up things again." -Peter Pan

When I was little, getting older was one of those things that I never questioned and almost always looked towards with some amount of anticipation. I used to raid my mom's closet and wear her high heels and paint my face with her makeup. A few years later my friends and I would ride our bikes along the trail in front of my house, pretending we were driving cars (mine would always be a blue motorcycle and we'd stop for gas at every exercise station). Its sad when you get a little older and realize that none of the things you wished for were really as cool as you thought they'd be. Instead of basking in my newfound teenage freedom, I find myself wandering around aimlessly, feeling very lost. Besides, those high heel shoes hurt my feet and having a car takes me further and further away from home.

Growing up hasn't done much for me. I don't like being stressed out and worried, and I hate that anxiety seems to be my future's best friend. I'm sick of being busy with things that are dumb and feeling bad about doing things I want to do. I hate that I look toward whats going to happen almost singularly with dread...

I wish that just for one day, I could go back in time. I'd relive my 6th birthday and remember what its like to not worry about things. I'd play in trees and have a tea party, and I wouldn't feel bad about all the things I should be doing. I'd go back to chasing leprechauns and talking to fairies and playing hop scotch on my driveway....and when my hands got all dusty from the side walk chalk, I'd paint my face with the colors and pretend that i was Pocahontas....

Its sad feeling like an awkward lost kid and being all alone. Actually, I think that's the worst part-- being all alone. I wanna go back and I have no one to go back with...I wish Peter Pan would show up at my bedroom window and whisk me off to Neverland. If he did, he'd be my new best friend...



I'd change the story, though.... I wouldn't come back....