Question...

How do I like....not use my facebook/blog to be narcissistic?

Alrigt. We have an issue.

Front page of the merc this morning.
http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_8486520?nclick_check=1

The Libertarian in me is rather distraught.

my views will be offered when I have time...

For now, here's what you can do. The petition takes 10 seconds...
https://www2.hslda.org/Registrations/DepublishingCaliforniaCourtDecision/

Oh yeah...

A while ago I was wondering about the nature of caring. http://stellabasium.blogspot.com/2007/09/why.html
It was hard for me to think about what it means to "care" and how emotions play into it. (Is "care" dependent upon how I feel, or upon what I choose?)

Feelings are important. They're kinda like a window into a person's soul that reveals what is really there. In order to be a good human, it is probably good to pay attention to whats going on in the emotional realm, acting on them if they point to something that is true and valuable, and if not, dealing with them appropriately.

However, while being very real, emotions are temporary and not always true. In fact, they are often very deceptive.

To care is to make a choice about what is going to be important.

I'm super happy that God exists. I'm happy that even though I often feel lost and think that the world is much too big of a place for me, God has given me everything I need. He's told me what kinds of things are worth caring about and how to do it.

I had a teacher sum it up nicely. One dramatic day my freshman year, when our teen-age emotional tension was at an all-time high, Mr. Falkowski simplified the essence of valuable priorities by saying, "Things don't matter. People do." "Things" in this situation didn't just refer to tangible items that people idolize. They were the ideas we had about the way things should be, arguments that we didn't want to move on from, and the self-centered priorities that kept us from caring for one another...

"Things don't matter. People do."

something that i don't quite understand...

...why is everyone always trying to be better than everybody else?

Happy Birthday Jack!

Tomorrow, the 29th of November, is the anniversary of the birth of C.S. Lewis (my best dead friend). I am going to be celebrating allllll day tomorrow.

My excitement level right now is an 11.

:]

Trip(s)

Philadelphia: interesting city. abrasive people. everything closes at 7pm (even on Weekends) this has caused me to reevaluate its status as a city. I was especially excited to see all the historical landmarks. Visiting Phili made me extremely appreciative of California. I'm not moving anytime soon.

I just got back from Columbus, Georgia. If you've never heard of it, it's probably because it is a small town in the middle of Nowheresville of very little consequence. Why did I go? Welllll....in 1989 six Jesuit priests were killed along with their house keeper and her daughter. When research was done, it was learned that many of the assassins were trained at the School of Americas at Fort Benning in Columbus, Georgia. This basically pissed off all the Jesuits in America, and by association, the Catholic church. My dad is a former Jesuit, so I went with him to the Teach-in/demonstration. 25,000 payed Columbus a visit for the demonstration this weekend, and I was privileged to see and speak with many interesting people.

Life is good...
:) It's gonna rain soon.

You Owe Me.

en·ti·tle
–verb (used with object), -tled, -tling.
1. to give (a person or thing) a title, right, or claim to something; furnish with grounds for laying claim: His executive position entitled him to certain courtesies rarely accorded others.

de·serve
–verb
1. to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve exile; to deserve charity; a theory that deserves consideration.

Is anyone "entitled" to anything? Does anyone "deserve" anything?

Adam and Eve broke humanity in the garden. We do not "deserve" God's grace. He gives it anyway. What about from human to human? Are there things that I am entitled to receive from someone? Do I "deserve" to be treated/thought of/esteemed in a certain way? Am I so important that I should think that someone "owed" me a certain position or status?

Humanity is made in the image of God, and that gives us some form of created integrity. The good book tells us that we were created well, but that we also did something (sin) that stained us somehow....which means that I am inherently screwed up, and so are you, and that every single day we both continue to mess up. How then, is anyone deserving of any goodness? Are they?

Obviously, we are told to treat others with respect because God cares about them and says that they are valuable to him. But does this have anything to do with what people are "entitled to" from one another?

It seems like there is a call to goodness not "because of what we deserve" but "inspite of what we do not deserve." .....

Aide-moi, s'il vous plait....Je ne sais pas.

-------
I'm leaving for Philadelphia in 5 hours. I am very excited. A few of us from the journalism department are taking a little field trip...
Scotty and Chad say that I should try Phili Cheese Steak. I say it's "man-food". Then again, Jen likes cheese, so I think I'll try it in honor of her...Jen is one of my most-favorite people.
----------
Also, I am rather nervous about the writer's strike. I don't want my shows canceled. I will miss John Stewart terribly. He'll prolly be the first to go.... :(

RAIN

Its RAINING!!!

:)

(miss moon has been pretty lately, too, just in case you've missed seeing her...)

kinda like rain....

(I wrote this a while ago. I didn't post it because I didn't want to admit to having a hard time...its been interesting to re-read this. I'm mostly the same, I think, but I've learned a lot... I'm posting for me, mostly as a way of getting over myself...)

I've had a really rough week. There are lots of parts of my life that are up in the air right now, and I don't know how they are going to end up falling...

There are lots of parts of me that are broken right now...parts that are disappointed...parts that are sad...parts that are scared...parts that are anxious...I don't know what to do with them all and it all just becomes a big giant mess...

This is the first time that the verses from Hosea 6 have really hit me.

Come, let us return to the Lord.
He has torn us to pieces;
now he will heal us.
He has injured us;
now he will bandage our wounds.
In just a short time he will restore us,
so that we may live in his presence.
Oh, that we might know the Lord!
Let us press on to know him.
He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn
or the coming of rains in early spring.”


God has taken me on quite the journey lately. Things are messed up...there really is no way around it...


God promises to somehow fix things...he says that if I press on to know him better that he'll respond just like dawn breaks the darkness and rain restores the earth...


I think that trust might mean choosing to rest on a promise.

I'm not sure I can hear God very well, but it sounds like he might be asking me if I'll choose to trust him to clean up the mess...

Why?

Why do people care?

Why do people have cares?
Why do I care about people?
Would I really care about people if I knew I wouldn't ever get anything out of it?
Is "care" really "care" if a person is choosing it?
Do I really care about something if I am making myself care? Or is care only the act of choosing to value something?
Is it worth it to care?
If care is a choice, then what difference does it make to me if I choose to care/not care?
If its not a choice, then what is the value in choosing to care?

Maybe caring is just getting in touch with your less-broken self...either admitting to being in touch with it, or, through knowing truth, choosing to agree with what you know is true.

but is the latter "care"?

Is care an emotion or is it an idea?

if its an emotion, then how do I find it? And what if I don't feel anything? Then do I care or don't I?

If its an idea, then how do I know how to find it in me?

Aaaarrrgggggg. Chapel.

The chapel speaker at my school last Wednesday basically gave the "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" sermon (Jonathan Edwards) without the metaphor of the flimsy spider being held loosely over the pit of hell.(He read imaginary notes from people who got sent to hell instead) I was extremely uneasy throughout the sermon. The following seem to be the two schools of thought on the message:

1) He spoke things that were true. It is true that passages in the Bible condemn a person to hell who does not "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ." (He said "accept Jesus", which I'd imagine is maybe the same thing.)Since they were true, it does not matter how he said it or why he said it. We are sinners who need to hear truth, even if it's hard. We can't experience mercy and love until we understand sin and our guilt. Christians don't talk about hell often enough.

2) That the message was inappropriate and condemning. He should not make judgments. He should not motivate people to Christ by trying to "scare them out of hell". Jesus is more than "fire insurance," and consequently, he should not be approached as a way out of hell.

I tend to think that while we were created to be eternal beings, and the concept of an "eternal damnation" or "separation from God" is very real, that it isn't the whole message of Christ. If Christ's message is one of God's love and a betrayal, and humanity given an opportunity to be made new and clean and holy again, then attempting to explain the person and message of Christ by scaring people over going to hell is a lie.

To say the least, I was saddened by the negative reactions of my friends and peers who have a hard time learning about the truths of Christ as a result of messages such as this.

~~Thoughts?

FRED!!!!!!

Fred is my favorite.

I kiss the ground he walks on.

"Before anything else, folks in Washington ought to be asking first and foremost, “Should government be doing this? And if so, then at what level of government?” But they don’t."
- Fred Thompson

Thank God someone knows something about Federalism.

http://fred08.com/index.aspx

OBAMA !

Just in case you all were wondering how I spent my Friday today, I will tell you.

(big HUGE breath)

IwenttoSanFranciscotoseebarackobamagivehisspeech-of-hopetorallyhisbayareapeeps










In case you were extremely bright and thought to yourself "I am not going to waste time attempting to read a statement from someone who neglected to use the space bar," I'll repeat myself.

I went to San Francisco to watch Obama speak.
It was great fun.
I went with some friends from school and two of my teachers.
We sat in the balcony at the civic center.
We all cheered for everything.
......except abortion.

It was hilarious.

He'd start talking about health care or benefits to single mothers, or day care, or dependency on foreign oil, or executive integrity, and we'd stand and clap until our hands hurt. We would be clapping and cheering while trying to listen to what he was saying, so he'd slip in something or other about how the Supreme Court doesn't have the right to make decisions for women and doctors and we'd sort of dwindle down our clapping and cheering and then awkwardly sit/stand there and mutter/shrink down in our seats. Crickets chirped among us a couple of times.
--maybe you'd have to be there....

ANYWAYS, now that I mentioned that, I'll also mention that I won't be voting for Barack.
I cheered for most things, mostly because it would be very lovely for mothers and workers to be cared for and for everyone to receive health care.
.....It just wouldn't be lovely (in my opinion) for the Federal Government to implement these sort of policies. Other notes on his speech/the rally would be:
-Obama is an incredible speaker.
-He is idealistic.
-He is kinda a socialist.
-He seems to really care about people.
-He is good at "hanging lanterns on his problems"
-He's good at making friendly little "jabs" at Hillary.
-I thoroughly enjoyed listening to him.
-I got a cute little button that says, "OBAMA"
-I put my cute little button on my back pack (its actually more of a messenger bag than a back pack).

it was a fun day...

posting and such....

Blogging has been hard for me lately. There are so many things I'd like to jot my thoughts out on, but I end up getting really wrapped up in how people reading it will think of me...(too emotional, too passionate about things that don't matter, too "christian", not "christian" enough, ill informed etc.) I guess it doesn't really matter, though. What other people think is none of my business....

On that note, I'll try to be perfectly honest. That's probably not true. I'll probably just be mostly honest, but I think that's better than nothing.....

Notes.

Dear Persons who saran wrapped my car:
I missed it because I am in Maui. Ha.Ha.Ha.


Maui has been cool. It is sunny here and there is an ocean.

Apparently there is going to be a hurricane. yay.

If you have a dog and you treat it like it is a person (buying a doggie stroller etc.), you should either have a baby or have another baby. Oh, and you're weird.

I am under the impression that the environment that I live in is worth taking care of. If Rob Bell's position on green-ness pisses you off, I don't want to listen to you whine about abortion or gay marriage policies in relation to Christianity either. More later if I feel like it...

Lately I've been learning a lot about a lot of things. More later if I feel like it...

(I am actually in a very good mood right now, even though it might not seem that way... :) )

It worked. :)

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

my blog is rated R because "sex" is mentioned 18 times....

...Attempting to enhance the excitingness of my blog by up-ing the rating.

Sex.
SEX.sex.sEx.SeX.sex.SEX.
Sexiness.

Sex.

SEX.

sex.

sex. sex. SEX. sEX. SEx. sex. sex.





sex.

...Trust.

My Dad, the smartest person ever, told me once that it is not doubt that is the opposite of faith, but certitude. In other words, if unwavering confidence exists, there is no need to "trust," and trust is therefore not only rendered obsolete, but the situation of absolute certainty does not even allow for faith to exist...

Trust, like faith, is an exceedingly abstract concept. It is an idea that can not be easily defined...

I'll explain.
The definition of "trust" offered by dictionary.com is "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence."

Everyone trusts. I trust that when I get out of the car, I will not fall through the crust of the earth but that my feet will instead land securly on some form of concrete. I trust that when I wake up in the morning and walk down the stairs my family will not be waiting for me with a bazooka to blow my head off. I trust that my integerous (yes. it's a word. I say so.) friend will choose not to stab me in the back.

This type of trust is based off of a level of certitude, though, and therefore does not seem strikingly valuable. I trust my sister to not smother me in the middle of the night. Still, that says very little about our relationship or about the person she is or about the person that I am. Nothing is at stake.

When someone says, "Do you trust me?" (in an open-ended fashion as opposed to in refrence to a specific situation) what does he or she mean? What could he or she want? There has to be more. Where is it?

comment thoughtfully, please...

Hey Everyone.....you can read my blog without being tainted. yay.

Mingle² - Online Dating

Paul.

I've been reading 1 Corinthians during the last couple days.
I tensed up at least once in every single chapter.
I think I decided that I don't like it.
I like the other stuff the guy has written, but based only on Corinthians, I don't think Paul would have been my best friend.

At least I'm being honest....