"Second Star to the Right and Straight on 'till Morning"

"Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown-up things again." -Peter Pan

When I was little, getting older was one of those things that I never questioned and almost always looked towards with some amount of anticipation. I used to raid my mom's closet and wear her high heels and paint my face with her makeup. A few years later my friends and I would ride our bikes along the trail in front of my house, pretending we were driving cars (mine would always be a blue motorcycle and we'd stop for gas at every exercise station). Its sad when you get a little older and realize that none of the things you wished for were really as cool as you thought they'd be. Instead of basking in my newfound teenage freedom, I find myself wandering around aimlessly, feeling very lost. Besides, those high heel shoes hurt my feet and having a car takes me further and further away from home.

Growing up hasn't done much for me. I don't like being stressed out and worried, and I hate that anxiety seems to be my future's best friend. I'm sick of being busy with things that are dumb and feeling bad about doing things I want to do. I hate that I look toward whats going to happen almost singularly with dread...

I wish that just for one day, I could go back in time. I'd relive my 6th birthday and remember what its like to not worry about things. I'd play in trees and have a tea party, and I wouldn't feel bad about all the things I should be doing. I'd go back to chasing leprechauns and talking to fairies and playing hop scotch on my driveway....and when my hands got all dusty from the side walk chalk, I'd paint my face with the colors and pretend that i was Pocahontas....

Its sad feeling like an awkward lost kid and being all alone. Actually, I think that's the worst part-- being all alone. I wanna go back and I have no one to go back with...I wish Peter Pan would show up at my bedroom window and whisk me off to Neverland. If he did, he'd be my new best friend...



I'd change the story, though.... I wouldn't come back....