People.

I'm not very good at people. Spending extended periods of time with other humans has made me realize this.

I snapped today.

Feeling strong emotions of anger (hatred?) toward people is actually pretty scary. I guess I underestimate myself...

I wonder how I'm ever going to get along...

.....Enough Said.

MySpace Outage Leaves Millions Friendless

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—It is feared the sudden lack of online companionship could inflict long-term psychological damage among MySpace's 150 million users.

Messy.

I have one more day of school (tomorrow), and two days of finals next week. I'm pretty much done.

School is lame. I'll rant about it when I have time.

Besides that, there isn't a single aspect of my life that isn't messy right now....

(not sure what else to say...)

On Education

The latest of my days have been more or less congested with a growing sense of peevishness towards the education system that I unfortunately have the privilege of participating in. I am irritated at everything from senseless teachers who assign pointless work and brainless activities that waste my time to section 9528 of the federally imposed "No Child Left Behind Act" which allows for military recruiters to have unobstructed access to public schools. For the next week, or until I feel satisfied, I'll be discussing different aspects of the American education system that (in my opinion) are lacking and in need of reevaluation.

I am well aware that in third world countries the children are unable to attend school or receive an education. I realize that the system we have in place right now is superior to those in war-torn countries. Please don't comment about how "at least we can go to school." I'd like to emphasize ahead of time that pointing out the systems that are worse doesn't justify the mistakes and faults in ours...

I'll begin with this excerpt...

'THE ANIMAL SCHOOL'
AN EXCERPT BY
LEO BUSCAGLIA, PH.D.
FROM
LIVING, LOVING & LEARNING

I always tell the story of the animal school, a fabulous story that educators have had around for years. We laugh about it but we never do anything about it. A rabbit, bird, fish, squirrel, duck, and so on, all decided to start a school. Everybody sat down to write a curriculum. The rabbit insisted that running be in the curriculum. The fish insisted that swimming be in the curriculum. The squirrel insisted perpendicular tree climbing be in the curriculum. All the other animals wanted their specialty to be in the curriculum too, so they put everything in and then made the glorious mistake of insisting that all the animals take all of the courses. The rabbit was magnificent in running; nobody could run like the rabbit. But they insisted that it was good intellectual and emotional discipline to teach the rabbit flying. So they insisted that the rabbit learn to fly and they put him on this branch and said "Fly, rabbit!" And the poor old thing jumped off, broke a leg and fractured his skull. He became brain damaged and then he couldn't run very well either. So instead of an A on running, he got a C in running. And he got a D in flying because he was trying. And the curriculum committee was happy. The same way with the bird- he could fly like a freak all over the place, do loops and loops, and he was making an A. But they insisted that this bird burrow holes in the ground like a gopher. Of course he broke his wings and his beak and everything else and then he couldn't fly. But they were perfectly happy to give him a C in flying, and so on. And you know who the Valedictorian of the graduating class was? A mentally retarded eel, because he could do almost everything fairly well.

To the Emotionally- Charged Evangelical Fundamentalist Recruiters of my World:

I probably owe lots of people apologies...even though I'm not very sorry yet...

This week has been "Spiritual Emphasis Week" at school, and it's brought to the surface plenty of emotions and tensions that have been buried in my chest for a long time. In short, I'm reminded of how much I don't like Christians.

I don't exactly know how to explain why I don't like you people, or what exactly you do that that bothers me...maybe its because you frustrate me by spending more time discussing accountability partners and why you aren't doing devotions and why not dating is making you a better Christian than about Jesus....maybe it's because the way you present the Bible makes me want to burn it.......or maybe its just because I think you’re stupid and intellectually incompetent…..

I read an article recently by a lady who described her reaction to "churcyness" by saying something along the lines of "I don't have a problem with God; I just can't stand his friends”. I completely understand where she’s coming from…

I honestly don't know what to do with you people. I'm angry at how you present Jesus’ message, and how being around you seems to suck the magic out of the Gospel. I'm saddened by what it seems like following Christ means you, and I'm embarrassed by the way your social and political ideology affects my reputation.

.....I want you people to know that I'm sorry....I'm sorry for my bad attitude and for being arrogant and for thinking that I'm better than you. I'm sorry for considering you narrow-minded idiots, since I'm sure that somehow that's not the case. I'm sorry that in my anger I haven't made much of an effort to love and care for you. I'm sorry for not listening to you and for not liking you....I'm sorry about how I'm more concerned about my reputation and the way you affect it than helping you understand. I’m sorry that I forget that God loves and cares about you and thinks that you’re important, and I’m sorry that I don’t treat you that way...you deserve better, and I apologize.

.... I think mostly I'm sorry about the fact that I'm not very sorry yet....

…..I’m working on it………just not quite there…..

.....Avril

(this will be my last complaint for awhile...i promise)

a few years ago, when avril lavigne was cool, i liked her music. i was emo. i identified with her "complicated" and "damn cold life".

...then i got over it and decided not to listen to her until she had a good day.


her good day didn't help. i find her new upbeat inspirational style just as annoying.

"You're not alone
Together we stand
'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in

Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through"


If mix 106.5 plays that song one more time, my car radio will find itself smashed under my tire.

~end rant

Heh Heh Heh.........

It's always rather awkward when you're sitting in church/chapel/class enjoying (or tolerating) the speaker/pastor/teacher's sermon and suddenly it gets good...

.....unnaturally good.

people are laughing. The story sounds familiar. It sounds familiar because its from one of the books you read......

-Gotta love originality....

If you're a teacher/pastor/preacher/
speaker/whatever-the-heck-other-terms-we-use-to-describe-you, do me a favor please and don't use the creative stories from Erwin McManus or other ever popular Christian writers of our time without citing them........it makes me have a hard time listening to you.......